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The Gunky Runner

Ew-minance — When The Gunky Runner enters and at the beginning of the first upkeep in a game where it’s your commander, shuffle three Gunk cards into each opponent’s library. (Gunk is a colorless sorcery card with no mana cost and cycling {4}.)
Whenever an opponent loses life, they shuffle that many Gunk cards into their library.
Ready to run (You can have two commanders if both have ready to run.)

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Disclaimer: This is a custom-made MTG proxy card and not tournament-legal.

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